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Dreamer, awaken and teach your dreams.Musouka, okite. Musouka no yume oshiete. |
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| 日本が大好きです！ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| I am but a guest in this world. While others rush about to get things done, I accept what is offered. I alone seem foolish, earning little, spending less. Other people strive for fame; I avoid the limelight, preferring to be left alone. Indeed, I seem like an idiot: no mind, no worries. -Lao Tzu From the Tao Te Ching, 20th Verse |
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| May. 12th, 2008 @ 09:41 pm Carrie | |||
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| I was looking at old pictures and viewing some videos, stuff I haven't seen since I took them because I really didn't think I could handle it. Glad I didn't delete them, though. Anyway, lots of stuff with Carrie when she was my girlfriend (in Hawai'i). I really did love her a lot. Even though things didn't turn out perfect or wonderful in the end, I really feel happy and lucky that she and I had a relationship at all. I wonder if maybe it was my most successful relationship? It's silly to label one relationship one thing and another another, but you know, it really was pretty good overall. Maybe I should e-mail her.  A poem I wrote her on our fridge. :) |
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| May. 12th, 2008 @ 05:14 pm Erin | |||
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| I'm watching this show on DVD called Erin's Challenge or something like that. I can't translate the title. Well, because I can't read the kanji in the title. Umm... Anyway, it's Erin ga something, Nihongo dekimasu. Erin's Challenge--Do Japanese? Doing Japanese? Something... like that. It's not in the "ing" form, but... well whatever, this isn't a grammar lesson. Anyway, it's totally hilarious. One of the funny things is, it's supposed to be teaching Japanese, but it's IN Japanese! HA. So, like, you have to know Japanese in order to learn Japanese? Eh? It's still really fun, though. It shows a lot of little snippets of Japanese culture, too, which I love. And it's fun to see normal Japanese doing normal Japanese things. I haven't actually seen a lot of that. I'm noticing a lot of things. Like, for instance, if I could just understand what Japanese people are saying, I can reply well enough. A little slowly, but it would get faster. Dang if I can understand their jib, tho! I can't. So working on my understanding is one of my goals. Then I can just practice by conversing with Japanese! Oh wait, there aren't any around here. (Actually, I bet if I try hard enough, I could find maybe one to talk to.) Of course the more grammar and vocabulary and reading I work on, the easier everything will become in general. But still, that understanding bit has always been the rub. My accent and everything are pretty good (even though intonation kind of eludes me at times--like when you say "hashi," you can say it two different ways; one way means "bridge," the other means "chopsticks", but it's the exact same word, so I'm sure I sound weird at times). But the problem with having a decent accent is then Japanese assume I know what I'm doing. I don't. So I say something with my decent accent, they hear it, think oh, okay, I can speak normally since he seems at least half-way intelligible. And then they speak normally, and my poor little brain goes bah whut? And I panic and shut down. Well, I'll keep practicing. It seems like most of the Western men who learn Japanese sure are obnoxious, gawky things. Just watch them try to bow and speak Japanese. They stick their ass out when they bow (I hope I don't do this; if I go to Japan, I will ask someone to teach me to bow correctly right away), they pick up the English language habit of alternating volume between syllables (our syllabic accent is marked by emphasis of beat and volume, which is not so in Japanese), and it's just kind of funny. A little embarrassing. And the more nervous they get, the louder they get, until you want to cover your ears and cry. Good thing I'm not a gawky, English-speaking white man. Who knows why, but the best non-native speakers of Japanese I've encountered have mostly been black (African, usually African-American or African-British). They slip right into it. And one of my professors in Hawai'i, a white man (Irish-American, I think, from Cali originally) was probably the most Japanese white person I've ever met. Hilarious. And brilliant. And another of my favorite professors was a Japanese lady with a white (American) husband, and while he had a big, hairy, American body, he behaved just like a Japanese. It was funny to watch. His mannerisms were all Japanese. She used to laugh and tell him that deep inside that big white man was a little Japanese fellow. Ha. Japan makes me jolly. I can spot the weirdness and inconsistencies, but for some reason I laugh about it and love it. When I spot the inconsistencies in America, I feel like I need to orate about it and criticize it as a sociologist. Japan I just think about and mentally record notes on. Inside/outside mentality, I guess. I'm sure if I lived there I'd become annoyed with things from time to time and even miss America. Also, I'm noticing that no matter how nervous we might be when trying to learn Japanese, many Japanese are just as nervous. A lot of them will go to great lengths to avoid us. Not because they're mean, just because they're scared. So I may feel gawky and frightened and nervous, but I can bet whoever I'm trying to communicate with is not exactly comfortable either. It's cute when they're shy. But this shyness and nervousness is important for me to remember, because I get very shy, nervous and avoid communication. Avoiding communication is not a good way to practice communicating. Of course some Japanese will wander right up to you and start trying to get you to speak English with them, even if their abilities aren't great. Yet another professor (white guy, American) eventually started saying "Eigo ga wakara nai! Furansujin da!" when confronted with drunken salarymen wanting English out of him. "I don't understand English! I'm French!" More than a few times, they thought a minute and then tried to speak French with him instead, ha. Then he was really screwed. |
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| May. 12th, 2008 @ 01:57 pm トピクがありません | |||
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| I LOVE BIRDS!! |
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| May. 11th, 2008 @ 02:13 pm The public deserves to know this! | |||
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| Why don't cars have bumpers anymore? Children, the elderly, animals, inanimate objects, other people, shove them $(#@ers out of the way with your metallurgically enhanced steel bumper, fired in the depths of hell, encased in rubber from endangered trees. Cars used to have these. I remember, because it was in my lifetime. When I was in high school, a friend's mom drove an old car from the early 80's. A lady pulled right out and smashed into her once, yep, right into her bumper, because this old behemoth had one. The lady's car crumpled up like tinfoil, and my friend's mom's car didn't even have a scratch. Now that's a bumper, and that's what it's for. Bumping. Cars don't have these anymore. We have stupid, useless spoilers and pretty plastic things that look like bumpers but get smashed and fall off. Why? It isn't as if we've stopped bumping things! Is it to finance the automotive repair industry and therefore the auto industry? I want bumpers back on cars. Put a bumper around the whole damn thing. Make cars into bumper cars. There are 10,000 ways to make cars safer. We never hear about how unsafe cars are, though. We just hear about the 1 plane crash out of however many, or shark attacks, or coconuts falling on people's heads, or spontaneous combustion. Cars are more much dangerous than all of those things, so, I know, to make them prettier, let's take off bumpers. It's okay, because we've improved them with airbags anyway so when people fly around inside them with their silly limbs flailing around they'll be quite safe, not to mention we've added DVD players, GPS navigation, cup holders, satellite radio, phones, reclining seats, dishwashers... If there was ever a time for bumpers, dear readers, this time is NOW. |
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| May. 8th, 2008 @ 02:46 pm Weight progress | |||
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 3 lbs this week, 11 lbs in three weeks. Not too bad. Slower than I'd hoped kind of, but certainly faster than most eating styles! Getting Wii Fit might help. :P I'm excited for that.  And the pig-faced child in the mushroom field represents my overall progress since giving up my role as Captain Fattington. |
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| May. 4th, 2008 @ 12:27 pm トピクがありません | |||
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| May. 1st, 2008 @ 10:53 am Progress, week two | |||
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| In two weeks-- Overall since highest weight-- This week was a little slow due to water retention from quitting coffee/caffeine. Next week should show more progress akin to the first (drastic) week. |
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| Apr. 29th, 2008 @ 11:49 pm Kool. | |||
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 "OH YEAH!" he bellows, crashing through the children's wall to fill them full of high fructose corn syrup and organ crippling, genital-shrinking food dye. "Oh NO!" |
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| Apr. 28th, 2008 @ 10:32 pm Blood, absinthe, yellow pits. | |||
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| From bottom to top! There's this really old Mountain Dew shirt I bought at a garage sale. It's so thin, it's falling apart, and the armpits are yellow (like Mt. Dew!). I didn't dew it. It's been that way since I got it. I just didn't think anyone would notice. Well, people do, but they're too polite to say anything. How can I take the yellow off the pits without taking the pits off the shirt?? Absinthe is legal here now. I found out today. And then I bought some. Today. I had one oz mixed with 5 oz. tap water. About 100 calories. I'm trying to find ways to drink while sparing calories (when I do drink, which is rare). I was hoping I'd see fairies, but I didn't. It feels like it will be a better choice than a Bud Light, though. Both are 100 calories, but you sure won't be seeing fairies from a Bud Light. The other thing I tried was mixing an oz of gin (about 65 cal) with 4 oz. carrot juice (about 40 cal). Seems there is no way to do it under 100 cal. But like I said, the absinthe seemed to be more fun. I gave blood today. It was my first time. My friend who brought me was declined because her heart rate was over 100 (!!!). Her and her caffeine. I was accepted, though my heart rate was strangely high as well, nearly 80 bpm. Jeez. I hope my exercise routine I'm beginning after an extended break will lower my heart rate. I know some people's are just naturally high, but gosh. Not much school left this semester. I'm SO looking forward to getting back into my Japanese self-studies! Then summer semester starts, along with my project with Dr. Hoffman researching and writing about secret societies either for presentation at a conference or publication. I'm really looking forward to my three remaining semesters (counting this summer) here. After that, it's off to...? |
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| Apr. 28th, 2008 @ 05:07 pm US Dept. of Beef | |||
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 Just so you know, they're lying. |
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| Apr. 27th, 2008 @ 12:48 am Realization. | |||
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| It isn't so much that I necessarily want my own PLACE, although I do... but also my own door. Well it makes sense if you think about it. |
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| Apr. 26th, 2008 @ 10:42 pm Cold weather... | |||
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| Not super cold, but cold enough, and it was already dry. Thus, the windows are closed up, the heat is again on, and the dryness increases, and I get itchy and annoyed. Ugh. I'm not looking forward to next winter. I'm looking forward to everything up until, though, and I'm sure by then I'll be able to handle another winter. I intend to make it the best so far. It's going to warm back up again Monday. Dryness, I can handle. Even cold, sometimes, I can handle. But a mix of cold and dry, not so much. I've been "cheating" a little and weighing myself more often than weekly. Bad bad. The problem is, progress is difficult to note if one checks in every day. If one checks in weekly, one can almost always notice a difference, even if it's "only" a pound or half a pound. It isn't weight I care about, but weight is indicative of other things. |
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| Apr. 25th, 2008 @ 10:41 am Whoa. | |||
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| My favorite professor wants to do a joint paper with me, on secret societies, for publication or presentation at a conference. Does he really think I'm good enough??? I replied, "If you really think I've got the fruit, I'm willing to contribute the juice (what?). This is an opportunity I won't turn down, and I'm definitely not going to say no to something like that. I hope we can make a delicious citrus smoothie and that your apparent faith in me is not misplaced!", and he said, "I am sure the citrus smoothie will know no equal." I had the formatting of the above paragraph a lot prettier but it kept giving me invalid mark-up errors that I couldn't figure out. Annoyed. |
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| Apr. 23rd, 2008 @ 01:06 pm Weekly weigh-in! | |||
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| It says my last weigh-in was the 19th. That's odd. That was no a week ago. Well, regardless, Wednesday is the day!! Here's my overall progress, taking into account the weight reductions I made at the end of last year through sheer willpower, incredible amounts of exercise, and calorie restriction. And here is my progress since last Wednesday, when I began doing things the smart, nutritious way instead. I've yet to begin my exercise regimen because I'm still reading up and studying. However, I've been going out of my way to be a little more active, like parking far away rather than pointlessly looking for a close spot. My results are very encouraging, and I have my daily pound of green vegetables and four fruits to thank for that. I believe once I begin my (moderate, researched, non-haphazard) physical regimen, the results may increase. Of course, it will even out. The idea is that I'll reduce my weight by about 20 lbs in the first six weeks then level off to about 10 lbs. monthly. I thought it was supposed to say my weight on here. Well, I guess some people don't want that revealed! Started at 225, dropped to 200 at the end of last year. Last Wed. I'd gotten back up to 202.5, and with my excellent, nutritious diet (it was not bad before honestly, but it is now ideal), I've dropped to 196. A few more months and there may be progress pics. I'm not sure yet. I would like to change it so it doesn't say "lost" weight. Saying you've "lost" something implies you want it back. You lose your cellphone, and then you seek it. Well I am not seeking the fat I've lost by any means, and I wish not for any of the vocal or linguistic cues that might imply I am seeking it back. Our mind and body listen! We need a holistic approach to this, and I intend to be an example of this holistic, nutritious, healthy fat cell reduction process (I almost said "weight loss" again! so automatic). Thank you for allowing me to share my success with you! I will try my best to make all of you proud. And myself. Yoroshiku! |
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| Apr. 21st, 2008 @ 09:09 pm When I began to dislike Steinbeck | |||
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| "First, there were Indians, an inferior breed without energy, inventiveness, or culture, a people that lived on grubs and grasshoppers and shellfish, too lazy to hunt or fish. They are what they could pick up and planted nothing. They pounded bitter acorns for flour. Even their warfare was a weary pantomime." -John Steinbeck, East of Eden I hate to even "reprint" such utter rubbish as that. I hope you don't need me to underline not just the inaccuracy but the repercussions of such statements. How dare a people live close to nature and at one with the Earth when there is "settlin'" to be done! And land to be stolen, and ludicrous Manifest Destiny to be carried out. Oh what the history books missed when I was in primary school. I remember making similar comments about the Spanish conquistadors who butchered the native South American people, in 5th grade, and me speaking my mind, making a value judgment, daring to cast a thought upon history, was such a terrible shock that I was disciplined. Iron the morality out of that child. Toughen his gentle spirit. As for us as a people, our entire lives are a capitalistic disco on queludes, a truly "weary pantomime" if I've ever seen one. |
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| Apr. 21st, 2008 @ 05:14 pm Aquarion | |||
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| "Distance and time are both phantoms born from the uncertainty of the heart." -Commander Fudo |
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| Apr. 20th, 2008 @ 09:40 pm Sorry! | |||
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| I'm really sorry for the last post! I thought it was hilarious, but everyone else seems to think it's creepy! Bad news. Sorry guys! Didn't mean to freak you out. I interpreted it as the baby holding a doll, but the doll is realistic and howls like a real baby, so the real baby responds in kind. Sort of like how parents must feel? I could be interpreting it all wrong. Whatever the case, even though I feel bad for creeping everyone out, the creep factor just makes it even more funny to me. Now I wheeze and laugh when I look at it. Ha! Sorry! |
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| Apr. 20th, 2008 @ 06:56 pm トピクがありません | |||
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| ( Under cut because it was creeping everyone out! I think it's funnier than ever now. I'm sick. ) |
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| Apr. 19th, 2008 @ 09:51 pm Don't give low scores on Amazon Vine! | |||
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| People seem to only give helpful votes if you glow over a product. Give an accurate, balanced review, and the fans will eat you alive, saying you're unhelpful. My helpful to unhelpful vote ratio has plummeted since I became a reviewer. Oh well. I have integrity. |
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| Apr. 15th, 2008 @ 12:20 am Oversoul | |||
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| You're not in your body. Your body is in you. An out-of-body experience is reality. An IN-body experience is a hallucination. We're walking in states of constant hallucination. When you listen to a human voice speaking on your radio, that human is not in the radio. That human voice is localizing at that frequency in that radio, but that human is not the radio, anymore than you are your body, and the voice isn't inside the radio anymore than your soul is in your body. You are not in your body. When you're awake, your body tunes to "your" frequency, and you localize in your body, just like a voice localizes in a radio. But the voice is not in the radio. And you are not in your body. Your body is in you. You are everywhere. God is everything and everywhere, and you are part of God. You're not in your body. Your body is in you. |
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